well actually im supposed to post many things with this face ^__^ because there's been a lot of fun i guess this lately. but now bertukar! cam power rangers pulak kann.. =.="
for the very first im quite unhappy when i need to leave my house this early to attend this kakom's things. and i start the activity in the morning. well everything just okay when suddenly i got a message from my brother in law abg dharma said that abah,mama and nia was in accident last night. ya Allah.. can you feels what i felt at that time? it's like i want to run back home at that time straight away. but i manage to control myself and asked him the details. he said that he also knew about this from our aunt,mak ucu. the car was accident with a cow. kat jalan unisel yang gelap tuh around 2-3 a.m.. see my abah now cannot drive at night because his eyes getting weaker. haiyaa...they were from tapah after visited my grandmother,opah who not too well this lately.the car was so TERUK but setinggi tinggi kesyukuran pada Allah SWT sebab everybody in that car are safe. but well i know my abah very well. if its not okay he will say that its okay because myself is similar to him. we rather hurt ourself than hurt somebody else. a proper word to understand is 'sacrifice'..
i a bit pressure because im worried but there's nothing i can do because im here stucked with all this programme. suddenly i remembered what both my parents said in the car last friday when they fetched me up at ktm sg buloh. they said i need to take care of myself because we are in distance so they cant jaga me like whem im at home. i need to be independent to myself. well it's not a new thing for me to be independent because i had lived in hostel for 6 years. 6 years school is my home rather than my own house. but when it comes to now i get more touching about family things or easy to say homesick. yeahh after 6years finally i know how it feels when you homesick.and this all really comes when you know that your parents need someone take care of them at that house.
when it comes to the night, it is so tiring but im still sleep late because packing up things and blogging *wasting time*.. and yes another thing comes to mess up with my mind. urgghhh! when you are in sad mood and suddenly someone who err what i want to say haa.. like someone that i ........ err admire maybe a bit proper =.=" texted you what you feel? anxious right?? of course you hoping that maybe he might can make you laugh like always. but unfortunately he sent it at wrong time when me was busy with my programmes. so i need to reply in hurry and no idea what to talk about. and then he just go like that. i think in positive way that maybe its my fault so i texted him again when everything done and yes there you are. lawak tak bertempat. o.O okay i know it also again my fault for being too sensitive even a simple thing but yeahh when it comes at time when your kepala so serabut and that's it. so now good larhh dah macam nie. haihh penat weyh.. you just come into my life and everything turn out like this.
like i said if there would a chance i want to hide at one place where nobody can find me just want to cry out all the burden i carry inside myself all the time.but maybe this all just mean that I MUST BE STRONGER for everyone and also myself.insyaAllah.Wassalam.